When I was in my in my 20's, and was childless and single and had all the answers to all the questions, I went to church with my friend and her sister and the sister's two little boys. As my friends sister was struggling with her adorable children she sighed with a big "why do I even come to church?". I was appalled. How could anyone say such things? Of course we go for a variety of reasons! Why would you stop when you had children?
Well, have I mentioned I have seven kids now? Guess what, I have asked that same question to myself and on more than one occasion, and the latest being this past Sunday.
As our services started I'm sitting there oh so calmly on the pew when I look to my right and Garrett had found a bag of cheerios. I should rephrase that, it was a bag of former cheerios, it was a bag of dust and crumbs. He proceeded to dump them onto the bench. I cleaned them up as best I could and set the baggie onto the floor. Next he took a little sip of water out of the water bottle we had left over in the diaper bag from basketball games the day before. Leia tried to take the water away and as his noise levels increased I removed Leia as she yelled, "He's going to spill it!". I was trying to hand Leia over to Ryan when I felt wet. I quickly turned to see Garrett dumping the water right in the middle of the pew and there was a nice little river running both directions right behind my entire family. Soon most of us were wet. As we were trying to remain reverent and not disturb those around us, which was too late by the way, I sent Gabbie for paper towels and Ryan took Garrett out of the meeting. As I'm trying to dry our soaked bench, Leia is vigorously rocking the baby in his carrier. I quickly rush to his aid only to kick the previously mentioned cheerios/crumbs/dust all over the floor. AAGGHH! At this point we are not even 10 minutes into the meeting and I want to return home.
I start thinking of all the excuses to go. "Garrett has not been feeling well", that's a good one, "Nelson is teething", that would work too. Maybe I should just go. I'm soon nursing Nelson and lamenting to a friend who has 8 children of her own and she proceeds to tell me that it's my come-up-ence for having my first four children be so well behaved. Her first 5 were all apparently like Garrett. I'm not so sure I felt better.
As I then roamed the halls with Nelson and Garrett I'm still thinking of the numerous reasons I should leave and I tried to block out all the reasons I should stay. Before I know it and have any control, Sacrament meeting has ended and Emmett is ushering Garrett off to nursery. I relent and head off to Sunday School.
Nelson doesn't cooperate. I stay in the halls with my teething, grumpy baby. The next hour during Relief Society I continued to pace the halls until he finally fell asleep. I sat down to hear the last 20 minutes of our lesson. It was wonderful. I felt uplifted, I felt encouraged. I was renewed. And then at 3:45 I saw a women leave. I knew immediately she needed to go listen to one of her children participate in the children's meeting next door. Then I realized, one of my own children was suppose to have said a talk and hour prior. Not only did I not go to listen/help her. I hadn't even prepared a talk for her to give. So my poor little Mia with the help of a Primary Teacher gave a talk, through tears of nervousness and I'm sure embarrassment and sadness, she stood up anyway and gave a talk. I felt horrible.
We made it through our 3 hours of church and when it was all said and done, I knew I was where I was supposed to be. Should I receive the Mother of the Year Award. That answer is an obvious NO! But I'm glad that even though I had water and cheerios, a grumpy baby, a missed talk, I was able to feel fellowship from others, and the spirit as our teacher testified of Christ. So in that 5 minutes of peace there really were rewards.
Now I need to go find that church bag that holds the cheerios and make sure they have finally been discarded. And there is no way in the world that a water bottle will be left in the diaper bag next week!
6 comments:
At least Garret is a cutie and we love him.
Sure glad I wasn't there. Don't know how you do it, Anne.
Oh, my friend. I so understand! Wouldn't we make all kinds of money if we came up with some kind of silent vacuum just for church pews? I really think there should be Dustbusters at the end of each row. Also, your Ryan busted me last week because my Ryan ripped a page in the hymnbook, so really, this is all his fault :). I'm sorry you were involved. BTW, I think you are amazing.
You are a huge example to me. I know what you mean. It's great that you had that 5 minute experience. Sometimes it takes two or three weeks of wondering before you get that spiritual lift.
I did not know you had a blog. I am excited to check it out. I am totally going to follow you.
Thank you for this post! My husband was just put in the Bishopric and I have to tell you I have been feeling like I drag my own circus to church on sundays. But you are right, it is worth it.
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